The Polar Vortex has returned, and with it a Need for Warmer Memories

Frozen Nostril hairs.

Seriously, this is what I have to deal with as I walk the kids to the bus stop.  New Jersey is in a deep freeze, and even with the sunshine today, it truly feels like the polar vortex has returned and smacked the shit out of us. 

So without further ado, here are the rest of my favorite memories of warmer times....

#5  Beach Time

Myrtle beach, Daytona beach,  Flagler Beach, The Jersey Shore,  I don't care.  I am not a huge fan of  sand in my crack, but I do love the ocean.  I am more of a lake girl myself than a beach girl, but I love taking the kids to the beach now and again and watch them come close to drowning in the waves.   It's a family tradition.


#4  Fun times at the Bronx Zoo

 

One of the first fun things we did last year in the warmer weather was take a late spring trip to the Bronx Zoo on a Wednesday while the kids were off from school.   If you live within driving distance, you have to hit the Bronx Zoo at least once in your life, and plan to spend the entire day there exploring.   Wear comfortable clothing and bring water bottles, because it is a trek!   The dinosaur park is also fantastic, and on Wednesdays you can get an all day pass to do all the "extra" fun things in the park, like the Butterfly house, trams, and Dino experience.  Do not verbally assault the tram driver like my friend Vicki did though.   They frown on becoming violent with the employees. For more information about my favorite zoo, the Bronx Zoo, click Here.

 

# 3  Good times on the Soccer Field

 

 

 

I love watching Sagan play soccer.   He is working so hard to maintain his cool while playing and really getting in there.  He may never be a soccer star, but to our family we know he all ready is, because he has to work twice as hard as the other kids to maintain his behaviors while playing, passing, sharing, and listening to the ref and accepting his calls.  Don't ever take the small things for granted when you watch kids play soccer.  Some kids are working so much harder than others just to function out there.  It's so fun watching the little buggers play!  Sometimes we freeze on the soccer field, sometimes we roast, but it's ALWAYS warmer than it is right now.

 

#2 and #1 coming tomorrow!

 

Fun-Dough Auditions

 

 

 

Sometimes you just have to let your animals children, express themselves.  

Things That Cold Weather Makes me Miss Most

When it is so cold out that your bones literally feel like they are cracking beneath your skin, and just walking to the mailbox produces blue fingernail beds, sometimes, a girl gets to daydreaming, let's face it.   Here are my Top Ten memories of a better time, to remind me that warmth is just around the corner.

#10.  Those crafty little Ground Hogs at Turtleback Zoo.

Oh how I love to sit and watch these little foul fellas dig in the dirt and smell each other's asses.  I could sit there with the kids and watch them all day.  The ground hogs remind me of leisurely strolls around the zoo with the kids, as well as fun birthday parties and good family time. I believe the two on the right are making out.

 

 

#9  Maine fun.

 

There is nothing as awesome as spending time in Maine with our good friends and swimming in some of the cleanest water in the country.   It isn't exactly warm all the time, in fact some summers have been downright chilly, but we always have a hell of a time and relax and spend quality time together.

 

 

 

#8   Stu making ridiculous faces under water.

 

It isn't summer if Stu is not taking selfies in which he resembles a drowning, bald, Mr. Bean.

 

 

 

#7    My Hydrangeas

 

These flowers are the love of my life, after ice cream and my kids, in that order.   I don't even know when I started loving Hydrangeas, all I know is I will buy a house based on how many Hydrangeas it has in the yard when we purchase it. 

 

 

#6   Ridiculous fun in the sprinkler

 

This summer we had the most bad ass inflatable sprinkler tunnel on the block.   All the kids came over and had a ball throwing themselves through it.   Then it popped, and deflated and they all went home.   The end. 

 

 

#5  Time spent at Lake Lackawanna

 

Though I'd only let the kids swim in this sketchy lake in early June through MAYBE July 4th, we are so lucky to have wonderful neighbors who let us use their lakefront for fun and frolic.  It really is a beautiful lake with a wonderful community.   Despite the fact it smells like a moldy basement July through October.

 

 

 

#6  Kan Jam.

 

Every year we have friends over for a heated, ultra competitive game of throwing yellow Frisbees into black garbage cans with mail-slots.   The first year we had it at our house, we had 5 teams of two.   This past Summer I had 10 teams.   This upcoming summer I am going to have to turn teams away because our yard isn't big enough.   Everyone loves our Kan Jam potuck and I love seeing everyone having so much fun together in the heat!   This year we are aiming to have it on an ice cold weekend, seeing last year we had it on the surface of the Sun.

 

 

 

 

Summer Memories, 5 through #1 will be in a later post.  It's warming up today a bit, and I must get off to the store in preparation for the next snow/wind/ice/cold/polar vortex/ event.  Cheers. 

...And a merry "Polar Vortex" to you, one and all.

 Stu tucked the children in extra well tonight in preparation for a -20 windchill. 

 

Sophia was unable to free herself from the "Vortex proof" cocoon Stu made for her.   I left her in there a few minutes because I enjoyed watching her struggle.

 

Too bad they can no longer move their limbs. At least they will be warm.

 

Stay warm out there.   Especially if you are homeless.   Though I doubt homeless people are reading a blog.   But if you are, and you are homeless, stay warm.

 

I love my friend,I love my Dogs, I love my new Camera...

Sophia is really getting good with the sewing machine.   Here's Lis with the pillow Soph sewed her last night.  It is so darn soft, I need one for myself.

 

Lis loves Dixie.   They have kind of a complicated relationship.

 

 Some more pictures from our quick visit.   Weather didn't permit a very long visit, and Lis is a bit of a chicken driver with the prospect of freezing rain and a long drive home.  Can't say I blame her.   The weather hasn't exactly been agreeing with us lately.

Photoshop  does wonders doesn't it?  lol  Not that Lis needs it, she must drink the blood of 100 virgins to look this good at 41.  Bitch.

 

Sophia and the girls. 

Hibernation Station

Seriously, I am one lazy mother. even my 7 year old is more ambitious than me.

Sometimes I think I'm half bear because when it gets below a certain temperature, all I want to do is crawl under blankets and sleep.  And a massive cold snap is descending on the North East today, and we are smack in the middle of it.  Kid's had a snow day today, so we did legos, watched some TV, and just basically acted like lazy, loose, turds all day long.   Sagan is currently downstairs playing on Stu's computer and what ever game he is playing sounds like a techno rave or something.  I am too phased out to care what the hell he is doing.... he could be watching YouTube videos about Somali Pirates for all I know, I am not getting off this chair and checking.

This is why I am clearly the mother of the year.

This snow makes me want to build a pillow fort and hibernate.  I'd share with the kids, don't worry.

So I will make a list of things I SHOULD be doing right now, instead of sitting here rambling on a blog:

• Making Biscuits.  Stu will be home any minute, and dinner isn't half ready.  Smells good though, thank you Mr. slow cooker.
• Hocking my Thirty-One.   I really have to get on the horn, email and facebook and start promoting my business more.  But it makes me feel pushy and desperate, so I don't.   I guess I think customers are magically going to come to me.   So far I've had luck with that, but it's slowing down.  Maybe I'll get on that this weekend.
• Bathing my children.   I'm pretty sure they need to shower.   I''ll save it for later.   That way Sagan can do my favorite thing in the world, flood my bathroom with his action figures filled with water.  
• Cut the Guinea Pigs Nails.   That little critter needs his talons chopped.   He is starting to resemble those cray cray ladies on "My Strange Obsession" who never cut their nails.   Who knew how fast a GPs nails grew.  I guess I am an unfit pet owner.  I probably shouldn't have had kids either because I don't think I've cut their toenails since 2009.
• Clean out my Car.   Ut-uh.  No way.  It's 5 below zero, my snot will freeze to my face.  It's bad enough I went out there to get my Ice Tea out of the car and it was basically a shot put.  I am not going out there again.
• Sew with Sophia.  We have some sewing to do for gifts and I am too lazy to lift the sewing machine onto the table and thread the bobbin.  We'll get on that tomorrow.  Maybe.
• Read the manual For my New Camera.  Yeah I'll get to it.  Right now, the "auto" setting is fine.  But I really should learn how to use it more efficiently.
• Give Brian a Bath.  My dog has had a small knot due to Sagan sticking a tiny drop of chewing gum on his head for abotu 6 months now.  When ever I pet him, I feel this tiny, gooey bump on him and it drives me nuts.   He needs a good grooming to be honest.  Maybe I'll hire someone to do it.  Probably a better idea or he may be bald by the time I am done with him.
• Get off the Computer.   yeah I think I will.   This is probably the one thing I don't mind doing in my lazy state.   I'll move to the chair, and think about those biscuits.....
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For the love of God people, It's just a Snowstorm

An Open letter to the worry warts;

Dear ulcer-inducing, over sensitive, highly critical fart knockers,

It's just snow.  It has been falling out of the sky for all ages, and will continue to fall until weather on steroids evaporates it all.  Cars CAN drive in snow.   I did it for years, usually down hill, and sometimes with bald tires.   You will not die.   Your children will not die on a bus.   I do understand your worry about kids being out on buses in a blizzard, yes I do.  But the snow did not start in our area till the evening.  This is not an excuse to go to the grocery store and be rude to the check out lady, it is not an excuse to ask for prayers.   No one is dying.   It's snow.  Bundle your kids up, put on their boots, and send them out to play in it.  I promise they will not freeze, their fingers will not fall off, and they will not dash their heads upon  hidden rocks as they frolic in the white stuff.   We are creating a culture of youngsters afraid of mother nature.   Let's not fuck this up for them anymore than we all ready have.